Low fare no fair

"Cheap, but not so cheerful"

Low Fare is no Fair

It is common knowledge amongst my friends that I can be a bit conceited when it comes to air travel within Australia. I am a little ashamed to admit that the likes of Tiger and Jetstar have never really entered my repertoire. I even have my reservations about Virgin Australia…I’m sorry but just because you got rid of those heinous tan pants doesn’t make you ‘a new world carrier’.

But anyway I digress, I think the one and only time I braved the low-cost carrier was many years ago on a short Jetstar flight from Adelaide to Melbourne. Walking across the tarmac to the aircraft (which looked like something from the 70s), I found myself in a rugby scrum of arms and legs fighting to gain access to the air stairs. It was then that I became aware that there was no allocated seating on the aircraft and the hoard of animals I was entangled with were desperately trying to gain access to the aircraft to reserve seats for families and friends. Well the fight was on for young and old, and I am not ashamed to admit that there were a few stray elbows, nudging and possible biting. Unfortunately though, I did not have a battering ram (aka the unsuspecting child) to gain access and I found myself in a rather awful seat right down the back next to…you guessed it a baby! The flight itself was delayed, full of families (I don’t like children at the best of times, let along stuck in a confined space with dozens of them) and the interior of the plane looked like it should have been preserved in a museum. To top things off, the flight arrived at Avalon airport and the taxi fare to Melbourne cost more than my savings on the ticket. I vowed never to fly low cost again!

Recently, however I found myself attending a ‘guys weekend’ away in Sydney with a few mates. My friends tried to convince me that flying Tiger Airways up and Jetstar back would save money and ‘it would be good for me’. This time they didn’t except my ‘I’m busy at that time, how about I meet you there.’ story and insisted we all travel together. So despite my feeble pleas, I recovered from my horrible memory-induced fetal position and the tickets were booked.

To be honest, Melbourne to Sydney is really only a one-hour flight, and I am quite happy to use the ‘air stairs’. In fact, I quite like walking along the tarmac and looking at the various aeroplanes and airport workings. I am even happy to forego the complimentary glass of champagne (although some may disagree) and be bent like a pretzel to fit in the seat for an hour, but at risk of sounding like a snob, it’s the people that scare me off the most. I cringe to think I may have to share my breathing space with a singlet-wearing, loud outspoken boogan…or worse a child! You know the ones I mean; we’ve all seen them on Airways, raging and ranting or more recently on The Shire. How they get camera time I will never know.

So the flights you may ask? I must say the whole ordeal was rather pain free.

Tiger

With online check-in these days, there was no need to wait in line and miss the all-stressful cut-off time, which we always see on Airways. The “I’m only one minute late! I will never fly with you again!” scenario. I quite literally walked through the airport and out onto the aircraft without hardly waiting in line at all. The doors shut behind me right on schedule and I was greeted by a smiling flight attendant who offered to take my bag for me whilst I found my seat. I can’t even remember the last time a premium carrier did that for me! The flight being midweek, appeared to be virtually child-free, and I daresay I spotted a few business people on board. The aircraft also arrived ten minutes early into Sydney and before I could check my vital signs, I was on the Harbour sipping a latte.

Jetstar

Jetstar was much the same. Gone was the ancient antique of an aircraft that I previously experienced, and in its place was a shiny new A320 with a fresh, albeit cramped interior. Again the door literally shut behind me and I was greeted by another friendly flight attendant. We briefly discussed our day and I found my seat. After a somewhat big night the evening before, I slept for the duration of the flight and awoke to an arrival time 30 minutes early!

I was pleasantly surprised with the whole experience. Yes, the conditions are cramped and you don’t get your free 1000-calorie biscuit. But for the price we paid, I really can’t complain. I think the total cost was $110 return. So my recommendation? It pays to know someone in the industry! Someone who can allocate your seats, block out seats around you and can check you in! Hahaha Seriously though, if you are after a bargain without the nostalgia of air travel (think shuttle bus style) then you should definitely consider these options. For all my fashion-friends out there thinking that the Tiger airways livery will never match anything you own, I suggest stick to what you are comfortable with. Although, it’s always good to try something new. You may be pleasantly surprised!

Positively the fares are dropping, however sadly it appears my standards are also... 

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